Road to Nowhere (Season 6)
A trip along a crumbling motorway is made even more stressful by the presence of zoms... Cast * Sam Yao * Jody Marsh * Tom De Luca * Maxine Myers Plot Just Shamblers Jody and Sam go over the plan to collect some advanced tech, and take it to the people who can, apparently, cure Moonchild Syndrome. Jody's Janine impression weirds Sam out. The Blue Hexagon Symbol The dilapidated motorway you're on is being reclaimed by nature, which Jody finds sort of hopeful. Sam, Maxine and Tom focus on the zombies trapped in cars, until you spot the van-with-blue-hexagon you're looking for. Before More Zoms Get Here Unfortunately there are a lot of vans with blue hexagons on them, and zombies are approaching. You split off from Tom and Maxine in order to search them all quickly. Reach The Service Station You find the tech you're looking for, but it's not medical. The items are in fact high-end games consoles! The zoms are still after you, so Tom suggests a plan involving running to a nearby service station. Over In A Few Minutes Tom's plan is like Dawn of the Dead, but in reverse - lock the zombies inside the mall. While you lure the zombies inside, Maxine will lock them in, then Tom will dispatch them from safely behind a locked security grill. Raised Imperishable The plan works, until the point you discover the zombies are V-Types. They can't be killed with headshots, and Tom is locked in a small room with no way to escape... S06E10 // Rofflenet Discussion regarding this mission can be found on Rofflenet Transcript JODY MARSH: Okay. Runner Five, Runner Thirty, Maxine, I’ve got you on cams. SAM YAO: Oh my God. You are turning into Janine. You just called your actual boyfriend Runner Thirty. JODY MARSH: JANINE DE LUCA It’s crucial to maintain discipline and preserve protocol while undertaking missions in the field. TOM DE LUCA: You’re getting quite convincing at that, darling. JODY MARSH: I won’t need to do it when Janine comes back, so I’m taking my chance now. Okay, guys. You see that rusting four-car pileup? Turn left there and take the on-ramp to the motorway. MAXINE MYERS: And we’re looking for a rest stop? SAM YAO: Yep. It’s, uh, Brenton Heath Services, according to the message they sent us. TOM DE LUCA: “They” being this Manor House Center who can supposedly stop people from hearing voices? SAM YAO: Nothing supposedly about it. After those rubbish pagans told us about them, I did a bit of research. There’s, like, hundreds of people all over Rofflenet who swear this lot cured them. JODY MARSH: And they were all people who could still hear Moonchild speaking to them, just like Five! I think these people are the real deal. Well, they asked us to fetch some advanced medical tech for them on the way. It’s in a van a bit further down the motorway. MAXINE MYERS: The motorway with seven zoms in the fast lane? TOM DE LUCA: Permission to take them out with headshots? SAM YAO: Nah, no need to waste the ammo. They’re just shamblers. But you know, run. TOM DE LUCA: sighs This is rather hellish, isn’t it? MAXINE MYERS: You mean all the abandoned cars slowly rusting away, relics of a civilization that may never return? Yeah, it’s not exactly cheerful. JODY MARSH: I don’t know. I sort of like it. SAM YAO: Ugh. Some of the cars have got zoms trapped inside them. Really badly decayed zoms. I can hear their bony fingers scratching hopelessly against the grime-smeared windows. MAXINE MYERS: laughs No, you can’t. There’s no sound on the cams. SAM YAO: But I feel like I can. JODY MARSH: Anyway, that’s not what I meant. It’s… it’s the grass in the cracks in the tarmac. There are little saplings growing in some places. Look! I think that one’s an oak. One day, it’s going to be tall and strong. And those pigs over there, the black hairy ones. One day, their piglets will eat the acorns from that oak. Or how about that massive digger that’s veered halfway over the central reservation? It must have had some soil in its scoopy thing when it broke down. There’s all these red and green flowers growing inside it. SAM YAO: Yeah, it’s also got a zombie beside it that, like, seems to be eating another zom. Do they even do that? MAXINE MYERS: Not normally. But there are still a few of the semi-sentient types around. Maybe it has memories of being a cannibal in its former life. SAM YAO: Somehow, you managed to make it worse. TOM DE LUCA: But I understand what you mean, Jody. Was it Shakespeare who said, “Life will find a way”? SAM YAO: Um, I honestly can’t tell if you’re joking or not. TOM DE LUCA: I’m sorry. I don’t know what you mean. JODY MARSH: laughs He’s having you on, Sam. We found a DVD of Jurassic Park last week, and Tom’s made me watch it every single night. TOM DE LUCA: I always did like dinosaurs. MAXINE MYERS: Hey! Isn’t that the van we’re looking for up ahead? The one with the blue hexagon symbol on it? JODY MARSH: Yeah, it is. That’s where they said we’d find the medical tech, but that cannibal zombie looks like you’ve caught its eye, so, uh… TOM DE LUCA: We’re going. MAXINE MYERS: So when they said we’d be looking for a van with a blue hexagon on it, did they mention there’d be a whole fleet of vans with blue hexagons on them? JODY MARSH: Nope. SAM YAO: There’s got to be at least a dozen of them here, and uh, let’s just check. Yeah. Cams show three more a bit further along the road, stopped behind another digger and a tipper truck. Must have been roadworks around here. TOM DE LUCA: We’ve hit another zom cluster, too. The hostile from the digger is still behind us. There are four in the bushes at six o'clock, and five more trapped in cars with questionable structural integrity. JODY MARSH: Okay, so we need to be quick. Tom, Maxine, you take the vans closest to you. You’ve got your crowbars? MAXINE MYERS: At the ready. JODY MARSH: Good. You’re looking for three red and gray boxes with silver highlights. Sam, you keep an eye on the cams. Make sure no zoms are sneaking up on them. SAM YAO: Yeah. “Keep an eye on the cams” is my middle name. JODY MARSH: And Five, run on to those three vans up ahead and search them. Quick, before more zoms get here! MAXINE MYERS: You’ve found them, Five! TOM DE LUCA: Red and gray boxes, silver highlights. Confirming objectives located. SAM YAO: Is it just me, or do they look exactly like games consoles? JODY MARSH: I think they might be VS-10s. You know, those really high-end ones that got released just before Z-Day that no one could afford? MAXINE MYERS: So these experts in auditory hallucinations refused to meet with us until we brought them these three games consoles? SAM YAO: Is it bad that actually makes me respect them more? TOM DE LUCA: Yes. SAM YAO: Yeah, okay. Just wanted to check. MAXINE MYERS: Damn it! Looks like we didn’t shake the zoms. They’re all heading up the motorway towards us. SAM YAO: Yeah, they’re pretty quick for shamblers. MAXINE MYERS: Some of them were sitting in those cars for years. It probably preserved them. JODY MARSH: Can you outrun them, though? TOM DE LUCA: 98% probability we can, but they’re making too much noise. It’s attracting more zoms. Groups moving in from our 4, 7, and 11 o'clock. JODY MARSH: Damn it! TOM DE LUCA: Is that service station you told us about close? SAM YAO: It’s, uh, it’s just over the brow of that next hill. TOM DE LUCA: I have a plan, but it requires us to reach the service station before the zoms. MAXINE MYERS: Then let’s get moving. MAXINE MYERS: Was there ever anything more joyless than a motorway service station? SAM YAO: A motorway service station after the zombie apocalypse, which you’re running into while pursued by a horde of zombies. They’re closing in from three sides, and the shopping mall’s blocking your way on the other. You definitely don’t want to go in there. It’s crawling with zoms. MAXINE MYERS: Tom, you said you had a plan? TOM DE LUCA: Yes. Go in the mall. SAM YAO: Uh, okay. TOM DE LUCA: Don’t worry, Sam. I’m compos mentis. Maxine, you’ll need to hide in that refrigerated van for a few minutes. It’s airtight so the zoms won’t be able to smell you. Runner Five, I want you to attract the zoms’ attention and lead them into the mall. As soon as the last one’s in, Maxine, you’ll lock the door behind them. Five, you do the same on the other side once you’re through. SAM YAO: Lock them in the mall! I like it. Dawn of the Dead in reverse. JODY MARSH: There’s a lot of them. At least 30, and more inside the mall. When there’s a horde like that size, all riled up, there’s not much that stops them. If they break through the windows, they’ll be straight back after you. TOM DE LUCA: I know, love. That’s why I’m going inside with you, Five. See that newsagent? It has a nice solid security grill. I’ll take cover there and use my rifle to dispose of the hostiles. Clean headshots. It should all be over in a few minutes. Come on, Five. Run! growl, door slams shut SAM YAO: And you’re out! Blimey, Five, you like to cut it fine. That last zom was so close, he lost a finger when you slammed the door. JODY MARSH: How are things at your end, Maxine? MAXINE MYERS: Peachy. Tom was right! The zoms ran right past me, and now they’re all locked up tight. JODY MARSH: And Tom? How’s it going in there? gunshots TOM DE LUCA: Mission proceeding to plan. A few hostiles have spotted me, but there’s no way they can get through these shutters. SAM YAO: Yeah. Yeah, I’ve got you on cams now. Um, Tom. That zom you shot, it’s-it’s still coming. TOM DE LUCA: I’m sure I got a headshot. SAM YAO: Um, you’ve got enough ammo to try again, right? TOM DE LUCA: Copy that. gunshot JODY MARSH: That was a headshot. I saw it go through. SAM YAO: Yeah, but the zom’s still moving! JODY MARSH: Oh. Oh no. It must be one of those Viking zombies, the V-types! You can’t take them down with a headshot. MAXINE MYERS: It’s okay. We can deal that. Once Tom’s taken care of the shamblers, me and Five can go back in there and lure it away. TOM DE LUCA: It’s not just one. I got another with a headshot, and it – it’s still coming! JODY MARSH: Babe, it’ll be fine. Look, you’ve killed most of those shamblers already, and they’re staying down. We can take care of those two V-types. SAM YAO: It’s not just two, either. I think Tom’s taken down all the shamblers now. Those seven that are still standing, they’re all V-types. TOM DE LUCA: “Many of those who sleep in the dust of the ground will awake, these to everlasting life, but the others to disgrace and everlasting contempt!” MAXINE MYERS: How the hell did they get out of that ?? JODY MARSH: Doesn’t matter. They did. Tom shot every single one of them in the head at least twice, but it isn’t stopping them. Nothing is, and he’s trapped in there with no way out. TOM DE LUCA: “For an hour is coming in which all who are in the tombs will hear His voice, and will come forth.” “The dead will be raised imperishable, and we will all be changed!”Category:MissionCategory:Season Six